What’s The Cost?

On this journey I’ve read a lot about people’s experiences starting businesses. The fact that I’ve found the accounts of others interesting, helpful and inspiring is part of the reason I started this blog. It’s not really in my nature to document my journey or process for others, it’s only ever been something I’ve done for myself. I guess the exception to this rule is where the documenting of my journey will help someone else. A common theme from people’s experiences of starting a business is that it will be hard work. No surprises there. However I read one account or article – I can’t remember where, but it discussed the fact that we all have 24 hours in a day, so to put in the extra work required to build a business, something has to give. The question is what are you willing to give up?

I knew there were some things I couldn’t give up and some things I wasn’t willing to give up. I think it’s smart to be honest with yourself from the outset, it’s best to know what you’re realistically working with and then you can work out what can be shaved from where.

Things I can’t give up (for now):

• Working full time. I’m currently on maternity leave and in 6 months’ time I will be back at work. I like my job and I like and respect those I work with so when I’m at work I like to be completely at work. As you can imagine this takes a big chunk of my time. Something I have found interestingly enough is that constraints on my time make me more efficient and more creative because time becomes such a precious commodity

• Bathing my babies, feeding my babies, changing their nappies etc. They are 2 and a half years old and 6 months. Enough said.

• General running of my home. I’ll write more about this in a future post because while I can’t give this up completely as in our home I’m in charge of making it run, I’ll explain how I’m trying to take the ‘pain’ out of some of these tasks. It took me a long time to address this one head on. However I’m trialling a few things out and will write an honest post on how it’s going and how I’m finding it. I do wish in a lot more entrepreneur stories, people and I’m going to say it – women – went into a lot more of this detail. This is the kind of info I wish I had when starting.

Things I don’t want to give up:

• Spending time with my husband and babies. This is easier now I’m on maternity leave but I am big on playing with my babies. Actually getting on the floor and rolling around playing. I love going out with them and showing or teaching them something new. I won’t lie, sometimes I think, ‘Why did I think this was a good idea with a toddler and a baby?’ Most of the time this occurs mid-tantrum, however I keep organising these outings and activities so I can’t lie, I love them. The babies are my muses, the very reason I’m sacrificing all this time. Spending time with my husband is trickier (I naively used to think the opposite would be true!). However, after a relationship with God, this is my most important relationship. If that crumbles, the cards come crashing down. There’s no shortcuts to any good relationship but to invest time in it. I have to constantly remind myself this because it’s easy to neglect this relationship!

• Working out. This isn’t purely driven by vanity 😉 I aim to exercise five times a week. I like the way it makes me feel – it makes me feel strong. After each baby I’ve become more into working out. I think initially it was driven by the fact that the stakes were higher after each baby (ha!) but it’s quickly turned into the fact that I need the strength to live and to keep up with the physical demands of my life. I also need to invoke a lot of mental strength and self belief to push myself in the gym and when I break a new barrier it fuels myself belief. It also encourages me to eat right, drink water and gives me a general sense of mental and physical discipline. It’s something I can control in a life that’s full of surprises! I go to a nice gym, it’s my one consistent extravagance.

• My spiritual life. I’m a committed Christian and one of my favourite Bible verses says this: Unless the Lord builds the house, the labourers labour in vain. I’m not about labouring in vain! Just as I wrote above, to develop any relationship, quality time is required. I like to set aside time every day (the earlier, the better), to read my bible and talk with God (pray). This is very important to me as it gives me perspective, hope, peace and gives me strength for the day ahead. If I don’t do this for a few days in a row, I feel the difference. I always tell people if I connect with God and exercise, no matter what the day brings, I’ve already won.

• Sleep. Oh whoops I gave up long sessions of undisturbed sleep about three years ago. It’s amazing what you can get used to…

Ok so what is the cost? What have I had to give up?

• General socialising with friends. This one sucks a little. This year the fact that working on the business has coincided with having another baby has helped. I spent the newborn months hibernating and doing newborn baby and self-care as well as generally adjusting to having two children and working. However in general I go out a lot less as I could use the time working. Fortunately my close friends understand and the great thing about having friends you’ve been close to for a long time is that they don’t judge you for not being able to come out all the time. A lot of my friends are also very busy themselves as they have families. I always try to attend events and gatherings that are important, but I do a lot less of the general ‘stuff’ I used to do.

• Eating out and ordering in. It costs a lot of money and adds up, especially as I like nice food! Instead I aim to do a quality food shop and try and save the money. I’m funding the business from savings so I need to be smart here.

• Holidays. I used to travel a lot but having two young babies and aggressive morning sickness in both pregnancies, I’ve travelled a lot less in the last four years. I think holidays have two costs: money and time. I hope to still travel as I really enjoy it and find it inspiring and educational, but I’ll need to be a lot more thoughtful about it moving forward.

• Fast fashion. I’ve never really been into fast fashion as I don’t like throwing things away / classing items as obsolete after a short amount of time. I feel it’s wasteful and bad for the environment. I try and buy high quality items on sale and shop sparingly, The more I learn about the business of fashion and the true cost of producing clothing, my resolve is strengthened in this area. Prepare to see a lot of repeated items.

• An immaculate Instagrammable home. I like tidy spaces, but I trust you’re smart. With everything you now know about me, this will remain a fantasy until I can work some sort if help into our budget. If it gets too much for me, I leave the house to work. I try and tidy once I’m tired as I’d rather give my tired self to housework and keep my energetic self for working and playing with my babies.

So that’s it folks. It seems like a lot, but despite the sacrifices, I honestly feel like I’m living my best life. If you have your priorities right, I think that living a purpose driven existence is really rewarding.