I’m one of those people that deep down inside has always wanted to start a business. Actually, if I dig a little deeper, I don’t think I knew it was my own business I wanted, I just knew I wanted to be in charge…oh and I wanted to create something…and I wanted it to be on my terms …and I wanted to encourage people and make them feel good about themselves at the same time. I would hope that running a successful business would one day allow me to fulfil all these desires. However, right now in the ‘set up’ stage, it just sucks. Yes, starting a business is hard.

This is the hard bit. I think I’m understanding how this process loses people along the way. Even as I write this piece, I feel like it could be more structured and organised and less of a continuous train of thought, but then – if I’m honest – I’d probably never get round to writing it.

In total, I’m about a year and two months in. I classify the day I started as the day I officially bought the domain mummysmuse.com. It had probably been around in my head for about six months prior. As someone who walks very fast, I feel things have gone very slowly. I’m work four days a week at a job (that I really like), which probably actually takes five days a week in terms of hours from me – most weeks any way. I have a 17 month old with no shortage of personality. Then I have all the regular people stuff of trying to work out regularly, trying to manage the maintenance of my home and generally be a decent wife to a really great guy.

So when they said starting a business would be hard – they being the interviews, blogs, columns, podcasts where business founders discuss the paths to their success – naturally I listened to them, but didn’t really hear them.

But now I do.

Now I feel fatigue in all my bones and muscles and I realise I need to ‘woman up’ because this isn’t even the hardest part. Now I schedule my weekend by the hour on the back of envelopes, including slots to ‘lie down.’ Writing this very post was given a Friday night slot. Now when I think of the sheer mountain of things I don’t know but I’ll have to get to grips with really quickly. I feel a bit guilty sometimes when I’m not doing Mummy’s Muse work as I know just how much there has to be done. I just tell myself, ‘Babe, keep moving. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and with the help of God, things will be ok.’

I tell myself, you’re not lazy, or an outlier, this is what starting a business feels like. It’s not a straight, obstacle free path.

What do I hold on to? I hold onto that desire to create something. And if it’s brilliant, alright, or actually just a bit naff, to say I was fully in control and in charge of creating it. Someone I met gave me the idea of documenting my journey. He said it would be amazing to read it back and to share with the world (and remind myself) how I felt at different stages of the journey. I do hope I can look back and read this particular post one day and feel like all the sacrificing, juggling and fatigue in my bones and muscles were totally worth it. I have to believe they will be.

To read a bit more about my story and the brand, visit the Story page of the site.