I haven’t written for two weeks now as I’ve felt like I’ve been surrounded by fog. Things are not clear at the moment – my mind feels a bit like the image above – mixed up play doh. For the first time in my living memory, so many of us are in the same position. We are living through a period of uncertainty and everyone’s version of uncertainty looks a little different. When countries started going into their various lockdowns in late February and March we all thought, by June this will all be over. By the end of summer life will be back to the way we know it. It’s become clear that our collective strategy is now about living with COVID 19 and not life ‘beyond’ COVID 19.

My Personal Fog

The fog has come in ebbs and flows for everyone, but personally, the last few weeks have been very challenging. Regular readers of this blog will know work has been very busy. For any one who is a parent of young children, you’re tired – pandemic or not. My life is held together in a very delicate balance – planning work and rest and relationships and Mummy’s Muse. I got a call about two weeks ago that one of the teachers in the nursery baby room had tested positive for COVID. The result being my littlest Muse had to self isolate for two weeks. This threw my delicately held together system out of the window.

Suddenly the plans that knitted things together so carefully fell apart. Cue the fog. I actually think a lot of this fog would be cured by 72 hours of not having to do any parenting, coupled with unlimited access to sleep – it’s just trying to find/create this opportunity. So now imagine this: we’re due for the littlest Muse to finish her self isolation on Friday, when the big Muse comes home from nursery and she has a fever. I sprung into action and booked a COVID test (of which we’ve taken and are awaiting the results), but again she has to isolate until we know the results.

Two Choices

With this second potential round of self isolating child looming, I’ve had a play doh shaped epiphany. I can try and separate the colours in an attempt to regain order and control. Any one who has attempted this in the past (I know you’re out there), can attest to the fact that it’s futile. You will never get that time back and your toddler will mix up the colours again. The alternative is I can learn to live with the mixed up colours. I shudder at the thought, but it’s the more realistic of the two options.

I have decided that this is it. This is Training Day. We are all in a real life situation of learning to live with – and dare I say thrive – in the face of uncertainty. I haven’t even mentioned all the uncertainty around lockdowns and production pertaining to Mummy’s Muse, that’s a whole other play doh colour in the mix. And while I can’t say I’m at expert at thriving in these times, there are a few things that continue to work on days when the fog threatens to come down thick.

Thriving in The Fog

I stay prayed up. I’m a Christian so talking to God regularly, thanking Him for all my blessings and asking for His help every. waking. moment is the best way I know how to make it through tough times. Sadly I sometimes forget to do this and get myself worked up trying a whole host of other things to ‘solve’ my issues myself.
Take my vitamins. This is catch all phrase for look after myself – at least the basics. You know, drink water, take my vitamin D, C and Zinc. Try and eat a carrot now and again and break a sweat. All that good stuff. Me getting ill isn’t going to make any of this better especially when there’s a whole pandemic raging.
Realise that going slow , imperfect but being present is better than trying to go fast, aim for perfection and not be in the room.
Establishing and re-establishing boundaries – how long do you have?
Staying playful and trying to find fun and something really enjoyable in every day.

I will be honest and let you know how my strategy for making it through works out for me. I just think it’s time to fasten my seatbelt and instead of wishing away the uncertainty, learning another way to live.